As told by Amber:
On December 6, 2009 I found out I was pregnant for the first time! It was so exciting, and I could not wait to tell my husband. I went out and bought baby stuff, put the stuff in a Christmas stocking, and gave him the stocking early. He was so confused looking at it and just looked at me strange. I finally yelled, “I’m pregnant!” From that day, we loved the baby immediately.
I started researching on who the best doctor would be to go to for my pregnancy. I finally found the right fit, or so I thought I did anyway. The months flew by and we got more and more excited. We decided to not find out the sex, we wanted to be surprised!
At 28 weeks pregnant, I found out baby was breech, and my OB immediately started talking about a cesarean. I was crushed! I hadn’t planned for this. I had visions of pushing my baby out, holding him/her on my chest right away and nursing. I was told he/she could possibly turn, so I prayed for that.
After doing some research, I wanted to see a chiropractor to see if he could get baby to turn, by doing the Webster Technique. However, my OB said no, it wasn’t safe. I listened, because I figured he knew best, he was the doctor. I then asked about a version. When the OB turns baby by manipulating your stomach from the outside. He also said no to that, and said it was too dangerous. Once again, I listened…he knew best. So I did nothing, and my baby stayed breech.
On August 5, 2010 I went about my normal day, ate breakfast, went to the gym and relaxed around the house. I was 38+1 weeks pregnant and it was hot out! I started noticing slight contractions, 10 minutes apart. They weren’t hurting, but baby was still breech, so I went to get checked at triage around 5pm that evening. I didn’t want to go into labor at home with a breech baby.
They checked me once I got there, and I had made no progress at all, but was contracting. The OB came in and said, “well, we are going to go ahead and take the baby tonight.” I was shocked, scared and excited! I went along with it, thinking this is it, c-section it is. I was very excited to meet my baby and see if it was a boy or girl!!!
They started prepping me for surgery, and that was scary too. All the needles, IV, catheter and spinal. I was wheeled into the OR after 10pm that night, my SON was born at 10:22pm, and perfectly healthy! I’ll never forget his first cries. I cried tears of joy.
Then I got sad. They showed him to me quickly and took him away for all the newborn procedures, my husband went with him. I wanted him too. However, I was left alone in a cold OR being stitched back up. I just wanted to be with my husband and son so bad. I wanted to nurse him too, knowing the quicker you try, the more success you’ll have. I didn’t even get to nurse in the recovery room. I was too weak and freezing cold, and drugged up. I finally tried a couple hours later, but he was tired and had a very difficult time latching. So I just snuggled him as he slept, it was amazing!!!!
Later, I found out he was tongue-tied, that’s why he was struggling. I was offered a nipple shield, and that temporarily fixed the issue.
I was so happy to have my healthy baby boy, but was already struggling inside. I mourned the loss of a vaginal birth. I wondered what was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be happy with a healthy baby? All I heard was, “a healthy baby is all that matters.” That really made me feel bad for feeling the way I did, I didn’t matter too? Anyway, I was blessed to have my baby, I love him.
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