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Community Birth Story: Colette Josephine

By Two Rivers Childbirth
February 21, 2016
Birth Stories Project

As told by Lilly:

The Wednesday before Colette’s birth just happened to fall on Ash Wednesday, a time of preparation for a spiritual journey, which is exactly what I was experiencing that day in my own way. That evening I felt off. I just did. Nothing was going right in my head, my thoughts and emotions were all a jumbled mess. The night before, I had gotten some beautiful words of wisdom from my dear friend Tabitha about all the fears of inadequacy I was having, she was so encouraging and assured me that all my feelings were a clear indicator that labor was soon to come. She was right. In retrospect I was displaying so many signs that I had also displayed just before I gave birth to our last child, Clare. I didn’t want to eat dinner, I had pressure in my bottom, I wanted to take my 3rd shower/bath of the day lol, and I really needed the kids in bed. All random things but all things that I had done the last time as I was approaching labor.

That evening I prepared a quick dinner, that I made a mess of repeatedly. I laid down in the other room while my husband, Colin, fed our four kids. I was so exhausted. But I wasn’t having any contractions or show or anything. So much of my “labor” that evening was getting over all these emotions I was having. Once Colin fed the kids he went to the gym and I put the kids to bed. I rushed through the bedtime routine and was grouchy, then I was sorry and just felt like I really needed to chill out. So I grabbed a nice bottle of wine and had a glass while I soaked in the tub. It was exactly what I needed. I texted with my doula Amy after putting the kids to bed and she really helped me through so much of the feelings that were troubling me. I had fears of delivering next week and what if the snow storm kept everyone from being there including Colin?! She assured me that those who are meant to be there will be there. She was so right!! But little did she know what that actually would end up looking like!

Colin came back home while I was in the tub, he jokingly asked me if I was in labor since I was in there. Haha no…so he went back downstairs to eat while I finished up and put Clare to bed. I met up with Colin downstairs and we watched a bit of a movie together before deciding it was getting late. We joked again about having the baby tonight but I told him that I was too tired and that I didn’t think it would happen. We went to bed at around 11pm/midnight, and shortly after I started getting small “Braxton hicks” contractions that didn’t demand any attention so I went to sleep listening to hypnobabies.

At around 2:15am I realized that those annoying little “Braxton hicks” contractions were still there, but they started to feel a bit like real contractions. I figured I just needed to use the bathroom. So I got up and went to the bathroom, but it didn’t help. I realized that I quickly had to figure out if this was the real thing or not, and boy did I second guess myself!!! You would think that after having 4 kids, being a childbirth educator for 5 years and being a birth doula myself that I would be able to recognize signs of labor just like that…but it’s so different when you’re in the moment and you don’t see the signs you were expecting to see! I knew that worst case scenario, if this was it, that I needed to act fast because my track record is one of very fast labors, so I decided the best thing to do was to go and consult with Colin while he’s fast asleep.

So I walk over to his side of the bed and try to wake him up, he’s only been asleep for like 2 hours so he’s not really registering my presence. I have another contraction while standing there, this is really starting to seem like the real thing. “Hey babe, I think I’m in labor, I’m not sure, should I call the midwife?? I don’t want to bother anyone…I’m not sure what to do…” Lol his half asleep response was something along the lines of “You know if you’re in labor or not, so if you are then call and if you’re not then let me go back to sleep” LOL I love this man, straightforward and to the point which is what I needed him to be! I didn’t have time to keep second guessing myself, so I called the midwife at 2:20.

Now, in my head, those 5 or so minutes were much longer than they actually were. In my head the contractions were much shorter and spaced out as well. When I called the midwife I had a contraction. I explained to her that they’re only about 30 seconds long and are coming like every 5 minutes. Colin corrected me. I had had like 2 or 3 during the last 8 minutes…hmm I should pull up a contraction timer app, clearly my perception of time is off. Colin finished off the conversation with her, she said she was coming and calling the birth team. Colin went to fill up the tub for me after getting off the phone.

Once I pull up the app at 2:30 and timed my contractions the reality of what was happening hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m in full blown labor. Darn! How did I miss that?! How was it all happening so fast?! The contractions are closer to a minute and a half long and they’re coming every 3 minutes!!! Ok keep your cool Lilly. Put your head phones in, zone out, and pray for peace. I sit on the yoga ball and rest my head on the bed. Colin squeezes my hips together to relieve some of the pressure. It really helps. I feel his love and strength and it encourages me. We will be ok, we can do this.

I get a text message from Amy about getting the hot water heater temperature up, I told Colin he could run down to the basement and do that as soon as this contraction ends. Hurry Colin you have 3 minutes, go! Of course he takes forever! In reality he took like 8 minutes because he ran into some kind of energy saver feature on the tank that prohibited him from turning it up, who needs to save energy while they’re in labor?!? I don’t!!! Darn feature. Anywho, while he was gone I ran into a bit of an issue. I started feeling like I needed to push…I needed to stand up, I
could no longer sit and kicked the ball away. Hmmm what to do next…? Oh yes! Get a chucks pad for the floor! Ive seen this part enough to know I’m about to make a giant mess, tmi but let’s be real here lol. So I’m standing over the side of the bed with a pad on the floor to keep me from ruining my carpet and *trumpets sound off* my Colin reappears! I don’t care about the water heater at this point, I don’t even have a chance to tell him I’m feeling pushy, I just need him to get back to the hip squeezes ASAP, the next contraction is coming and I know it’s going to be a big one. So he squeezes my hips together (he told me later that he could actually feel the baby descend at this point which is pretty cool!) and GUSH!! My water broke! 2:57am. Thank goodness I saved the carpet ;)

I knew the baby was coming. Colin knew the baby was coming. He asked me if we should move, I’m in the middle of this contraction, sorry not moving. Ok it’s done! Let’s go! I run to the tub! He tries to get stuff cleaned up, no time for that. I get in the water expecting relief, nope doesn’t happen, I get another contraction, I feel pushy so I push a bit…that feeling…I recognize that feeling…the baby is coming right now. I feel for the baby’s head…yup! There it is! “Colin the baby’s coming!” “What?!” He looks. “Oh yea… the baby IS coming!” He gets in the tub behind me since I’m on my knees. (Mind you, he was so adamant about NOT getting in the tub lol!) he reaches for the baby’s head, I feel his hands on the baby’s head along with mine, I know everything will be ok. I make a primal loud groan and I push the head out slowly so as to not to hurt myself, check for a cord around the neck, none, ok cool, and I push the rest of the baby out on the next contraction that came quick! Baby was born at 3:03am <3 One thing about my husband that I love so much is his ability to keep us cool, calm and collected no matter what. A way that he does that is with perfectly timed jokes and quick wit. As he lifts the baby out of the water, the baby makes some noises, and he says “so how do you get it to breathe?” This made me laugh and relax because of how he said it, she cried right after. He asked if I wanted to know the baby’s gender and I said no, I was in shock and just needed to hold the baby and warm the baby up with a towel. Clare had woken up with my pushing sounds and so I told Colin to go ahead and get her as I called the midwife to let her know I had had the baby and make sure everything was ok. He got her and then went to get Caillyn, our oldest child <3 the birth team arrived shortly after Caillyn came in.

To give you an idea of how insanely quick and intense it all was, I started timing contractions around 2:30 and had about a dozen contractions from the time I started timing them to the time she was born. They were lasting on average 1 min 16seconds long according to my contraction timer app! Once Caillyn got there I had already seen that this was in fact another girl and we rejoiced over the fact that we have the boys out numbered now since this baby #5 was our tie breaker! She was so excited! When the birth team got there I delivered the placenta just fine, got cleaned up and then we went to the bed to cut the cord, Caillyn was so excited to cut it! Colin then went to go get the boys to meet their sister!

Christopher, our 6 year old, had the best reaction! Colin went to go wake him up and said to him “do you want to come see something special? Mommy had the baby!” He instantly woke up and said “You’re kidding!!” Twice! With the most excited look on his face! He cartwheeled off of the top bunk! His smile went from ear to ear as he entered our room! Connor *our 3 year old*, on the other hand, was not impressed to be woken up at 3:30 am so he went back to bed lol. There was so much excitement in the room, so many sweet photos and moments as we all fell in love with baby Colette. She measured 7lbs 19.5in and is absolutely perfect! Everything was perfect, I couldn’t have imagined a better way to have welcomed this little girl, this beautiful gift from God. <3

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Click HERE to learn more about the Community Birth Stories Project or to submit your own birth story.

Community Birth Story: Jackson Lee

By Two Rivers Childbirth
July 11, 2014
Birth Stories Project

Jackson’s Story: A Peaceful Homebirth in Water

Around 10am on the 14th of May, just four short days after moving into our first home, my water broke. I was meeting our neighbor for the first time, and baby Jackson really wanted to make a lasting impression. I called my husband at work and told him that while my waters had broken, he should still go ahead and finish out the work day –I could labor on my own until 3pm. His boss told him “No way. Leave now.” And so, he did. He got home around noon and drew me a lavender bath, where I relaxed while he set up the bed and birth pool. Contractions were getting stronger, but were easy enough that I could still talk and move about during one. I put on my Hypnobirthing CD and listened to my birthing affirmations, just reminding myself to relax and have confidence in my body’s and my baby’s ability to birth peacefully.

Our doula, Bergen arrived at 3pm. Contractions were much stronger now, and she gave me a hot stone massage while I watched Seinfeld, bounced on my birthing ball, and breathed calmly through the surges. (Thank GOD for doulas!!) Jon started to fill the birth pool, which was placed in the center of our sun room along with candles, a diffuser for my essential oils and of course, music. My birth playlist was an eclectic mix of funky-folky-bluesy goodness including DMB, Jack White, Grace Potter, Eddie Vedder, Susan Tedeschi, and of course Led Zeppelin! The pool took longer than expected to fill, so I soaked in the bathtub upstairs and Jon poured lavender water on my belly during contractions.

At 5pm, our midwife Nannette arrived with her assistant, Grace. According to them, I was well into “labor land” at this point, roaming around the house in a peaceful, naked trance. I was really having to go inside myself now, humming through the surges and living for the little euphoric breaks in between.

Nannette checked me at 6pm, and I was at 7cm. Shortly after, another water bag broke, with a loud POP! I could feel my body pushing the baby out on its own. It was like an involuntary reflex reaction, moving the baby down for me while I concentrated on breathing and letting my body open up. I remember a swirl of gentle, comforting hands on me, massaging, applying cold cloths, and whispering “you’re beautiful.” Around 6:30, I hit transition. The contractions were right on top of one another and I was starting to get pretty exhausted so I decided I wanted to leave the tub and go upstairs to lie down in bed. My body continued pushing him out and at this point, Nannette whispered in my ear “Julie, do you want to do this here?” and I replied, “NO. I want to have him in the pool.” We started heading back downstairs and I decided I needed to sit on the toilet for a contraction or two. Jon sat down in front of me and I wrapped my arms around him and grabbed on during the next contraction. I reached down and upon feeling his head, exclaimed “he’s coming out!” So we hurried downstairs to the birth pool.

Two contractions later, his head was out. I remember putting my hands down there and thinking “holy SHIT. There’s a head down here.” Jon and Nannette both had their hands underwater, ready to catch him. Then at 7:14pm, to the soulful tunes of Jimmy Paige’s guitar, Jackson Lee Miller made his earthside debut. I remember looking down at our little 9lb 12oz turkey and thinking “my GOD he is HUGE!” After I birthed the placenta, we made our way upstairs to bed and just reveled in newborn bliss while Nannette tended to me, and Grace to Jackson. Once we were all snuggled up and settled in, Grace went out to fetch us a deliciously sinful postpartum meal of greasy chicken tenders and a Georgia Mud Fudge blizzard from DQ. Jon had two hamburger meals. (Holy gluttony!!)

And then, we were alone. Our new little family of three, more in love than we’d ever thought possible. I can’t imagine a more perfect birth day for our little dude, and I am so incredibly thankful for our “birth angels” at Riverside Midwifery and Two Rivers Childbirth. And of course, my amazing husband, who has really gotten this “daddy” business down pat.

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Click HERE to learn more about the Community Birth Stories Project or to submit your own birth story.

Community Birth Story: Ada Violet

By Two Rivers Childbirth
May 2, 2014
Birth Stories Project

Ada’s Birth Story

My lovely daughter Ada Violet was born on November 15, 2013. She came six days later than her due date, which was fine by me as I had final exams the weekend of her due date and was praying that she’d hold on a little longer! My husband and I had decided before she was even conceived that we would like to have a home birth if possible, so that was the plan. We couldn’t have been happier with the whole process. I’ve never liked going to the doctor, and here was an entire pregnancy where I wouldn’t have to see one doctor or go anywhere further than my living room for prenatal care!

My labor started slowly and gradually. Over the last few weeks I could feel my body preparing for the big event, and a few days before the birth I started having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, some quite lengthy and uncomfortable. The evening before Ada was born, I could tell there was a change, as the contractions started to become more painful and deliberate. I went to sleep as usual but woke up around midnight to contractions that I couldn’t sleep through. I figured this was probably the early stages of labor, but knew that it might last a while, even days, so I tried my best to rest. I managed to sleep a little between contractions, but by 5 am or so it wasn’t really working anymore. I got up and went downstairs. I didn’t want to wake my husband up because I knew he had work to do that day and also knew that I could manage things by myself at that time but might really need his support later on and wanted him to be well-rested just in case!

I emailed my mother-in-law and texted my mom to let them know I thought labor had started. My mom was planning on being with us for the birth and she and my stepdad were in the car on their way down from Connecticut within what seemed like a few minutes! I just hoped they weren’t going to arrive several days early…

At that point the contractions were still manageable. They weren’t very far apart (every 2 minutes or so), but they would only last 10-20 seconds (where I really had to stop everything and focus). I decided to try to keep myself busy while I could so I made some muffins for breakfast. Fortunately, I managed to eat a couple muffins that morning, as that was the last time I was able to eat until many hours later.

I texted my midwife to give her an update. I told her not to come yet as I was still OK. By mid-morning the contractions were more intense and I was having a hard time doing anything else but focusing on getting through them and resting during the breaks. I went up to the bed and tried to rest while doing my best to time the contractions with the clock (and having a really hard time – later on I learned that they have apps for that!). I was a bit stressed out because my husband had a work deadline that morning and we still hadn’t set up the birth pool yet, and by then I couldn’t do it by myself. Fortunately, he managed to finish his work and set it up before I needed it, but of course you never know what is going to happen until it happens!

By early afternoon I was really focused on getting through the contractions and everything else became a bit fuzzy. My midwife arrived and checked on me, then retreated to a chair and quietly let me labor on my own, which was really nice for me (I think being constantly checked on would have stressed me out and that’s one of the main reasons why I wanted a homebirth). My husband was with me quite a bit in the afternoon, helping me, holding my hand, playing peaceful music on the piano and generally taking care things. I labored in the tub for a while but got out after an hour or so because the contractions were getting really intense with not much space in between and I was started to get tired. At some point my mom and stepdad arrived. I couldn’t greet them properly. It was hurting so bad. I was so happy my mom could be there though. Sometimes you just want your mom, and this was one of those times. She was so great, doing whatever she could to help and putting my mind at ease.

The midwife’s assistant and partner also came at some point, although I have to admit it was all a bit blurry by then. I remember my midwife asking me now and again if I wanted her to check me internally, but I kept refusing. The contractions hurt a lot, but I never felt like I was “making progress” or “opening up” or whatever other terminology they use. I was so afraid I was barely dilated and didn’t want to get hung up on the numbers. At some point she suggested that I drink a small glass of wine and go lie down on the bed to try to rest a bit. I couldn’t accept the wine – I could barely even drink water, I was so nauseated. I did go upstairs to lie down though, and my husband came with me. I was getting so very tired…

The contractions were a bit further apart for a while, so I would start to drift off, only to be brutally awoken by the most intense back pain I’ve ever felt. After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore. I went back downstairs and tried various positions while people took turns pressing on my back during contractions. During the pauses, I sometimes heard the birth team talking quietly together and was afraid they were saying things weren’t going well and that I’d have to go to the hospital. I started getting scared, as our insurance wouldn’t cover the birth and I was starting to think there was no other way but hospitalization, which would leave me traumatized and indebted for life (of course, I’m exaggerating, but this is how I felt!). At the same time, I’m pretty sure at that point that if drugs had been offered, I would have seized the opportunity, despite all prior decisions and thoughts on the matter. I just didn’t know how I was going to go on like this.

I remember seeing the sun set and thinking to myself, “there goes the day.” One whole day gone and I hadn’t even been outside or done anything! At one point I went to the bathroom and I felt some pressure, a new sensation. I decided that my midwife should probably check me. They helped me upstairs to the bed. I’m so glad she only checked me once because it was terribly uncomfortable. She announced “I don’t feel any cervix at all.” “Oh no,” I thought. “I haven’t even started dilating yet and my cervix is so high she can’t even feel it!!” Of course, that’s not at all what she meant. She actually meant that I was fully dilated and could start pushing the baby out. Yay! I wasn’t sure if I had it in me, but at the same time I was so very ready for it to be over.

They helped me into the tub. I tried pushing during contractions but didn’t really know what I was doing. My midwife coached me a bit and at some point I let go of whatever was holding me back and understood what to do. Soon thereafter, my body completely took over and pushed all by itself. It was incredible. I knew I was using the very last of my strength, but I was so close, I just kept going. I pushed until the midwife said she could feel the baby’s head. She told me to feel it too. Then I pushed so hard that I could feel the burning and the sudden relief as the baby’s head came through. Once I knew the head was through my motivation skyrocketed. I didn’t like the thought of the baby’s head in the water for very long (even though I knew there was no risk). With the next push the body popped out and floated up through a cloud of blood and then there she was, my darling baby girl, as beautiful and bright-eyed as could be. I was in shock. It took me several minutes to process what had just happened. After working so hard for so many hours (months really, as the pregnancy wasn’t exactly a cup of tea!), it was all over.

My entourage helped me and Ada out of the pool and onto the couch, where she breastfed for the first time and I held her for half an hour or so until the cord stopped pulsing. I was really uncomfortable because my uterus was cramping and contracting. I went to the bathroom to deliver the placenta over the toilet. I was so surprised when my midwife said I had to push again. I thought I was done! But no, here we go again, and out came the huge placenta and what seemed like gallons of blood (of course it wasn’t really).

After the birth, it took my body a couple of weeks to recover (something I wasn’t expecting), and it took me a couple of months to get used to breastfeeding and living on very little sleep. However, in that time I went from being stunned over the birth of my daughter to totally head-over-heels in love with this little baby girl. Now I can’t imagine my life without her and of course it was all completely worth it. I never knew how much love my heart could contain until Miss Ada was born. I love her to pieces and love being a mom!

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Click HERE to learn more about the Community Birth Stories Project or to submit your own birth story.