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Community Birth Story: Alexander’s Stillbirthday

By Two Rivers Childbirth
July 6, 2015
Birth Stories Project

As told by Justine:

I began my journey into motherhood with my firstborn son, James in 2010. 2 boys later, we were headed down the baby train again. Earlier this year, after I missed my period for 3-4 days, I took a test. We found out on Wed, March 4th, that we were going to be having another baby! It was a surprise, but a welcome one. We weren’t trying, but we weren’t preventing. My body wanted another baby inside and we did it! The pregnancy proceeded normally. I went in a couple weeks later for my first official appointment for this pregnancy. This one was a little different for me, in that I was finding myself a bit more nauseated than I had been with the pregnancies of my two boys, James born in Jan 2010, and Cole born in Nov 2012. I had a couple of moments of feeling a little “blah”, but those lasted just minutes. With this pregnancy, I felt kinda yucky for several days. My appetite wasn’t like it usually was, and nothing sounded good enough to eat. That passed after about 6 weeks, a welcome feeling. I’d go in each month and they’d tell me everything looked great, weight gain was good and I was feeling totally normal! My blood sugars slowly started creeping up as the weeks went on, and I went on a medication to help with that. At 11 weeks, I could feel my baby inside, swimming and kicking me. Such amazing feelings, knowing my baby was exploring it’s world and creating muscle and strength as he grew. The second trimester came on soon, and it felt great to be moving along so quickly in this pregnancy.

On Friday, June 5, 2015, I went in for my normal obgyn checkup, at 17 weeks and 5 days. The nurse Vinnie and I joked with Dr Murray about his annoyance at the little book included in my Blood Glucose monitor. But the jokes quickly stopped. The usual fetal doppler was placed on my belly and was moved and pushed, searching for that beautiful, steady heartbeat. We couldn’t find it. This is not unusual for the doppler, as baby can be fidgety, and can take some time to find. Dr Murray kept trying, then finally asked Vinnie to bring in the wheeling Ultrasound machine. The heartbeat was not detected there either. Things were getting serious and I was terrified. I was set up to go get a more thorough examination with the hospitals level 2 Ultrasound machine. I needed to walk across the street, register, wait, go to radiology, and wait again for my turn. I finally got the Ultrasound about 40 minutes after leaving Dr Murray’s care.

The radiology tech began her examination and told me right away that she could not discuss any of her findings, but that the radiologist would be discussing those results with me. She began her examination, with the typical measurements of head circumference, bone length, etc. Then came the chest, blown up for heart rate. I saw a strait line. She repeated this step. Same strait line. I said, “you can’t find a heartbeat, can you?” She hesitated, and told me again that the radiologist would have to discuss that with me. I lost part of my own heart in that moment. Turning my head away from the monitor, I quietly broke down. The tech touched me and said “I’m sorry”, and continued her examination. This was not good, hearing her say that. After emptying my full, uncomfortable bladder following the exam, I knew I had to wait in that cold, dark room for someone to return for me.

The tech returned and informed me that the radiologist had sent the images back over to the Dr’s office, I was to go back and have another doctor discuss the results with me, not stay and discuss them with radiologist, as I’d been told. All the while, I am losing hope, finding myself falling into a hole of darkness. I walked back to the Dr’s office, told them who I was, and no sooner that I sit down, am asked to return to the desk. The receptionist informed me that the Dr would actually be calling me with the results, and they were sorry to have me come back. I couldn’t believe that these results, what my life was hindering on, were going to be shared with me not in person, but on the phone.

After being gone from home for 3 hours, I was really eager to get back to my safe zone, back to my boys. My friend Marci brought her older son and was at my home hanging out with my boys. I was glad to have a friend there waiting for me, to hear the results from the doctor. A couple hours later, Marci left, and I happened to miss that very important phone call from the Dr. I immediately called the office back after seeing the missed call on my phone. As you can guess, there is no doctor answering the phone, and actually getting them on the phone proves impossible. The nurse tech that took the call explained to me that the Dr had attempted to contact me, could not reach me, and would be seeing patients all throughout the afternoon. She would get back to me when she had the time. I couldn’t believe that yet another hurdle prevented me from getting these answers I so desperately needed to hear. I explained to her my frustrations and asked if there was any way to speak with someone else, who could tell me the results. She explained who she was and that she had the results right in front of her. And so it was, the confirmation of the words no mother would ever want to hear. There was no heartbeat detected at the Dr’s office nor the hospitals ultrasound. My heart fell to pieces that moment. Here I had this swollen belly, and the baby that my body expanded for, nourished and kept safe, was. . . gone. Shortly thereafter, I spoke with the Dr, who told me about a big decision to make; what I would be enduring in my near future.

I had 3 choices; go into miscarriage naturally, have a D & E (dilation and evacuation are performed in the 2nd trimester), or go into labor and delivery. Immediately I chose a D &E, as the first and third option sounded horrid to me. It seemed disturbing to me to, and I began to wonder about how my body would expel this baby. How could I go thru the effort of having a baby only to leave the hospital empty handed? Monday morning I was to call and schedule an appointment time for Tuesday to have the procedure done. Another friend asked if I’d needed contact info for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a non-profit organization who photographs early infant loss. My first reaction was that I didn’t want to see “it”, and quickly told her that. I wasn’t one of those women, who had a child that lost their life. Or was I? I began to read women’s experiences on online forums about D & C, and read women’s stories about giving birth and seeing and holding their babies. I realized that I would always wonder what my baby looked like, and worried that I would make the wrong decision. From what I had read, women who chose not to see their baby deeply regretted it. I wanted no regrets, and to feel like I had made the right decision. I’m so glad I had the weekend to read and make that decision, probably the most important one in my life.

I decided that I would go into L &D, to have my baby, hold them, and yes, get pictures taken. Earlier in my pregnancy I had chosen a doula, a new friend that I created when we were both pregnant with our now 2 1/2 year olds. I’d met her at Birth Circle and was happy to have her as my own doula when she began her official journey into becoming a birth worker. Lauren stepped right up and told me she’d go along this chapter in my life with me, picking me up, staying with me and bringing me back home after the birth. Contacting a photographer was something I could not do and Lauren found one to come to take pictures after the baby was born.

All weekend long, I read women’s stories about having their baby and holding them before letting them go. I needed to prepare myself. I needed to hear about their labors, both long and short. I feared the hospital stay would be long, and would make walking out empty handed that much worse. Looking back at it all, most of my anxiety was days leading up to the birth. As I write this, it’s only been 5 days since my labor. I don’t know if it gets worse or better from here on out.

On Monday morning, I finally got in touch with someone who told me about a plan. I could come in that night or the following morning. I needed to proceed as quickly as possible, as I was afraid I would change my mind again. We scheduled my induction for 8pm that night. I prepared the boys clothing and overnight things and my parents came and got them. I packed my own bag and kept going, not slowing down to allow my world to begin to crumble. My husband returned from his mother’s funeral services briefly before leaving to fly out of town again. Yes, my mother in law ended her battle of cancer and I lost my baby, oh, and a cat! all in the same week. The most terrible week of my life. We got to hold each other and mourn our losses without distraction of kids. My friend Megan came and hugged me, held me and cried with me about what I was about to and was going through.

I was feeling nervous, excited, worried, scared, and just a bunch of emotions mixed up together. I remember myself just sort of moving along electronically, with no direct course. Pacing back and forth, with dread, yet excitement still lingered on the surface of it all. My doula came and helped me pack the car, and close the house. Megan would be watching the cats as we went on to the hospital. The drive itself was quiet, but I honestly felt brave about it. I knew I had to go through this harrowing experience to be able to move forward in my life. We quickly checked in, found my room where I got into my hospital gown and settled in the bed. Soon we met the nurses, doctors and interns. The doctor was absolutely incredible and went into great details about each and every step we took. She covered things I never would have thought of and answered my questions as best she could.

Around 9pm, Cytotec was placed on my cervix to begin dilation. I was to be checked and given more Cytotec every 6 to 12, as needed. My first check I had gone to 1 cm, so I felt like things were moving along pretty well. I was given more Cytotec and progressed to 3+cm within a few hours. From what I had read, women dilated to 3 or 4 cm to birth this tiny baby, and I was never asked to begin pushing. It was entirely up to me how I wanted this to go. They were so gentle! During the time between checks, my water broke. We found out baby was breech, so this slowed things down a bit. With each check, his body had descended until he was basically entirely out, but his head was still inside the cervix. I would feel pressure and they would continue the checks. I laid down to rest on my side for a while, but the pressure and discomfort continued. I looked up at Lauren and told her I was ready. She went and got the doctor, and she returned to catch the baby. It was only one small push I needed and the baby just slipped right out. Lauren held my hand and told me she could see my baby. They cleaned him up a bit and placed him on a blanket and brought him to me.

I had the exciting moment of opening his legs and finding a small penis beginning to form. It was so neat that I got to discover his sex! The placement of him in my arms felt completely natural. It never felt uncomfortable, or disturbing, or raw. This was my baby and I needed to see him! I explored every square millimeter of his body, completely fascinated at this remarkable example of human life. It was all there. 10 long fingers (he had hands like my sister) and 10 toes that curled under his long feet, like his big brother Cole. His profile was like his daddies. A perfect, tiny human being, fitting inside my hand completely. Most of the time I just looked at him and held him flat on my chest. His skin was so delicate that just handling him damaged him a bit. I decided to name him Alexander. I got to hold him for about 3 hours total. In the meantime, more Cytotec had been given, this time orally, for the birth of the placenta. Gentle tugs and cervical checks proved unsuccessful, so I needed to go into surgery for a D & C. The surgery took about 2 1/2 hours, and I returned to my room. I had the choice earlier to have Alexander back in the room after surgery, but I chose not to. As I said, his skin was so thin, that I wanted to keep the integrity of his body as best I could. It was time to say goodbye to him and that actually wasn’t as hard as everything else, it seemed.

I rested back in my room for a while before paperwork was begun to release me. The doctors and nurses checked on me and answered any questions I had. My friend Channa had flown in from out of town and was there waiting my return from surgery. My doula drove me to the drug store to get meds and pads and we met my friends at the house. I said goodbye to Lauren and got a good nights sleep, thanks to the drugs I as given before coming to. Every day, friends have been pouring in and out, bringing food, gifts, and so much love. I could have never survived this with so much strength without the help of my friends and family. So many people were touched by Alexander’s life and I’m so grateful to have met him and honor his life. My journey will be long and difficult, but collapsing is not an option. My job as a mother continues. . .

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Click HERE to learn more about the Community Birth Stories Project or to submit your own birth story.

Community Birth Story: Emory Vail

By Two Rivers Childbirth
May 9, 2015
Birth Stories Project

As told by Brittany:

Despite the fact that my first 2 children decided to come post-due date, I was still really hoping that my 3rdwould come earlier. I think pregnancy is such an amazing journey, and one to be cherished and appreciated… but once I hit those last few weeks, a switch is “flipped” in my head where I start to become a crazy/anxious/depressed woman. With this pregnancy, we found out at 20 weeks that we were expecting our 3rd little girl and were ecstatic. As my due date approached, the house had been organized and labeled to oblivion, and I. Was. Ready. After witnessing my friend Beth’s home birth 2 years prior, and then doing a lot of research and soul-searching, I found myself craving the same serene, love-rich environment. Bob and I took the Bradley Method class series from a local instructor, and I also did the Hypnobabies home study course. I was determined to enjoy the process to the fullest extent.

As my due date approached and passed, I became focused on making relaxation my #1 commitment. I saw my chiropractor and acupuncturist often. I listened to my Hypnobabies tracks multiple times a day. I bounced on the birth ball, drank raspberry leaf tea, had sex, ate curry, took baths, ate spicy Mexican food, drank a glass of wine, and tried to listen to my body. On Sunday, March 4th 2012, we awoke with the intent of going to church, getting a bite to eat in town, and then running several errands. I started having pressure waves (contractions) in church, and almost felt annoyed at their presence. I had been having them on and off for a week or more and they never seemed to amount to anything other than continued exhaustion. I mentioned to my friend Ashley in church that I had a few during the service and her excited reaction made me feel loved, but I wasn’t hopeful. The waves weren’t enough to distract me too much, and I could barely tell when they were really starting and stopping. After the service we asked our girls where they wanted to eat lunch, and they requested Red Robin (“they give out BALLOONS, Mom!”). By the time we took our seats at the restaurant and ordered our food, I was noticing the pressure waves more and more. I was surprised that even though I felt relaxed, that they were now staying consistent. I ordered a turkey burger and broke out my cell phone to start keeping track of the waves. As time passed, things started to get more serious and I felt like I needed to get my (normally very comfortable and elastic) skirt off. I inhaled the middle portion of my burger and told Bob it was time to get the check. By the time we got to the car I was ripping off my skirt out of discomfort. We got home around 1:30pm, and I sent our midwives a text to let them know that things were picking up. I was still unsure if they would continue, so I didn’t request them to start driving yet (they live just over an hour away). Bob went into high gear- straightening the house like a tidying madman. He filled up the birth tub with super hot water, assuming it would be a while before I needed it. I sat on my birth ball and tried to welcome the waves, concentrating on the word OPEN. By 3pm I knew we were in business and I figured we might have a baby by morning. The pressure waves were demanding my focus now, so I had Bob call the midwives to tell them to head over. I texted a few friends and let them know to come over. Quickly I lost the ability to concentrate on anything else during the waves and then suddenly I yearned for the tub. I remember thinking that I wanted to wait as long as possible before getting in, afraid it would slow down my labor… but when the time came, there was no stopping me. By 4pm our house was an excited bustle of loving support- we had our family of 4 (almost 5!), our dog Koda, our 3 midwives, 4 friends (Ashley, Maya, Beth, and Kristin), and my mother and stepfather. My pressure waves were demanding so much of my attention that my early labor period (where I thought I would be chatting between waves and baking with company) was nonexistent.

Brielle and Finley, who are 6 and 4 years old, kept busy with the loved ones around, checking in on mommy every so often. They had prepared for the birth by watching many birth videos, reading homebirth-centered books, and had lots of long chats. I was so relieved to see that they didn’t seem scared in the slightest- they went straight to work as I labored; excitedly pouring water on my back or patting my arm as the waves overcame me.

At this point in my head I was making all kinds of sad noises, but those around me said I labored silently. One thing I made quite clear, however- I needed Bob to give counter-pressure to my back labor during EVERY pressure wave. If he rubbed or pressed incorrectly or started 1 second too late, the back pain was unbearable. He has since told me that the amount of pressure I was requesting made him worry that he would rub my skin off, bruise me badly, or both. But it was what I desperately needed and without his patience and stamina, I don’t know how I would have made it through. His concentration on me became my ability to concentrate in labor. If he focused on the girls, or answering someone’s question while I was in a pressure wave it hurt so much worse…. and I let him know it!

At some point during labor one of the midwives whom I had grown very close to came over to check on me and told me, “Brittany, its time to go inside”. From that point on, I got to work. Each pressure wave demanded all of my attention and overall, I really wasn’t “present” at all. I now resided completely in laborland, unable to hear anyone around me unless I purposefully focused (for example, during the times the midwives came to check baby’s heartbeat). Our girls bustled about, chatting with friends or eating dinner downstairs, and the midwives were nearby in the bedroom knitting and listening with stunning wisdom. As long as Bobby was focused on me, I felt in control and focused on letting the waves work their magic. Back labor is no joke, people. I tried to work on my hands and knees as much as possible to move baby into a better position. One of the midwives suggested early on that I roll my hips between the pressure waves and that I squat during them. All of my being was focused on the task of trying not to fight each pressure wave, but to rather let it dilate me more and more.

At times the waves seem short and intense, and after some time, they got longer and sometimes they wouldn’t “let go”. I opened up my hips, lunging on one leg during a pressure wave, and put pressure on the inside of my groin for focus. During the next wave, I placed two fingers inside my vagina to see if baby’s station was progressing (I still had never requested a cervical check by the midwives), and I could feel that baby’s head was really far down. I felt my cervix as the pressure wave continued- a particularly difficult one. This moment I will ever forget. As the pain increased and my body became tense, I felt my cervix hold steady. I was so tired, yet so centered on meeting my baby girl. So I concentrated on relaxing myself (thinking “OPEN”, “RELAX”, “BREATHE”) through the pain, and as I did this, I felt my cervix thin and melt further underneath my fingertips. It was the craziest feeling- I was relaxing myself into dilating! My bag of waters felt smooth like rubber, unbroken.

After a few more pressure waves, I felt some rectal pressure and wondered if I would need to push soon. As the next one started, I realized it wasn’t her head that I needed to push out… it was poop. I motioned towards the bathroom door (only 2 feet away from the tub), climbed out quickly with some assistance, and closed myself into the tiny room. Outside of the bathroom I heard the room erupt in excited chatter, as everyone who had been trying so desperately to respect our quiet space broke concentration with anxious (and loud!) anticipation. I filled the toilet with poop during my next pressure wave; so very happy that I wasn’t in the tub. I made a mental note that I needed to RACE back to my husband’s massaging hands and the warmth of the water because HOLY COW it was so much more painful without them. I quickly wiped, flushed, and flew back to the tub, surprising everyone in the room. My next wave began, and one of the midwives asked me if I had a bowel movement in the bathroom. I nodded yes and got into position again. I felt Bobby touch my butt and I scolded him saying, “stop touching my butt!”. I later found out that I hadn’t quite emptied my colon… and what I thought was hubby’s hands was actually a fishnet taking care of a rogue terd, ha!

On all fours now, despite being relatively silent previously, I started making a deep, guttural sound deep in my chest. I said, “I’m pushing”. This caught everyone by surprise and they all sprung into action, grabbing cameras and yelling for my daughters to come into the room. During that wave, I felt my bag of waters burst into my hand, and her head bulged out right behind it. There was actually no “pushing” on my part- my body was in charge! Her head seemed to pop out suddenly, and my mind was racing.

The next wave came and I squeezed her body out of me, right into my husbands waiting hands. In one smooth movement, I turned over and she was passed under my leg, and then placed on my fast beating heart at 6:51pm.

I held her there in complete shock of the speed at which she was just born. Then I looked and saw her face- pink, alert, and perfect. Intensely beautiful.

Welcome to our world, Emory Vail.

Brielle and Finley somehow were immediately in the pool, and the look on their faces cannot be explained in words. Daddy’s first words were, “She is beautiful, honey!” We all held her, kissed her, and stared at her for quite a while. After about 15 minutes or so, I birthed her placenta. The girls were particularly interested in knowing all about it- the midwife took her time to show them every detail and explained things in depth. Brielle gladly took on the task of cutting the cord. One interesting side note- baby girl had a perfect “true” knot in her cord.

We hung out in the tub and Emory nursed vigorously. She continued to nurse frequently the rest of the evening too. Afterwards, I passed her out of the tub and into the arms of some very eager friends, family, and midwives who continued the lovefest. I showered, got dressed, and got into my very comfortable bed where we nursed and cuddled some more. She weighed in at 8lbs, 4oz and was 19.5inches in length. I felt amazing. My husband looked blissfully content. My older girls were fascinated. And my baby was alert, chubby, and calm. I feel immense gratitude to have experienced Emory’s birth in the comfort of my home with such wise, experienced midwives at hand.

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Click HERE to learn more about the Community Birth Stories Project or to submit your own birth story.

Community Birth Story: Cypress Zofia

By Two Rivers Childbirth
May 9, 2015
Birth Stories Project

As told by Amanda:

For many women contractions start at the onset of early labor and within a day or two a beautiful baby arrives earth-side. For others contractions start weeks away from our child’s birth day, and it can become exhausting and frustrating. I had experience prodromal labor with my first, but wasn’t prepared for how much I would endure with our second.

First I’ll back up and give a bit of history on how we came about our providers. Initially we discussed a home birth, but the house we lived in was dirty with mold and mildew. The thought of being pregnant there worried me, and the thought of birthing a child into that house was revolting. So I talked to many local women and decided on an OB who had the reputation of being quite natural. But a few short weeks after starting care with him we were able to get out of our lease and purchase a beautiful home.

So Eric and I started discussing a home birth and looking into options. The pickings here are slim and I knew right away one provider wasn’t for us. That left one practice about 45 minutes away. I met with the 3 midwives (New Moon Midwifery), who worked seamlessly together, and loved them from the start. However, with the distance and notoriously bad Ohio winters we were hesitant. At around 25 weeks I just didn’t feel comfortable discussing my birth plan with my OB, and he didn’t seem receptive. So I transferred care to a midwife group that would deliver in the hospital. By my second appointment I knew that wasn’t right either. So we hoped for good weather, and that New Moon would take me at such a late time. To our relief they did!

At 30 weeks I started with consistent evening contractions. Every 7 minutes, always 45 seconds apart. At first they lasted only an hour, two at the most. So we (myself and my midwives) weren’t terribly concerned. But around 32 weeks, despite proper hydration and rest I had several hours of contractions. Since I was still early I was advised to go to the hospital. After a few hours there I was released with no reason as to why I was contracting so much, and by about the second hour I was no longer having them. Fast forward to 35 weeks and it was the same. This time I was able to go to a much closer hospital that was a bit more thorough. After some insistence on my part, they tested my electrolytes. My sodium was low, and after some lactated ringers they stopped. Now that sodium was on my radar I was able to avoid anymore hospital visits, but I still had plenty of prodromal labor.

It was becoming worrisome to me at this point that I wouldn’t get a clear line as to when I was actually in labor. With Halley my water never broke – and I was worried I’d be conservative when needing to call. My midwives, however, reassured me that even if it were a false alarm there was no burden on them for the drive. So I paid very close attention to my contractions, noting how they were moving and how my body was responding. At nearly 38 weeks I made the call to have them come down. Jamie and my doula, Martha, headed down. My contractions had been closer than usual and felt slightly different so we felt it was time for them to come. I was also feeling anxious which I hadn’t previously. After about 2 hours there was no change, and by 3 they fizzled out. They left and I was feeling even more upset. I kept asking myself, “How will I ever know when it’s time, and will I make that call in enough time for someone to get here?”

Then, on the morning of February 22nd, I woke up and started having contractions. I had yet to have contractions in the morning, so either my body was gearing up for baby time or I was in for several more days/weeks of all-day prodromal. At around 9am I called Anna, the midwife on call, and explained to her what was going on. They were every

10 minutes, 45 seconds long and felt slightly different than my usual contractions. She was glad I called and told me to keep her updated if anything changed. At this point I had no other big shift. I had been loosing my mucous plug for weeks, and my water hadn’t broken either.

At around 2:30 Eric left with Halley, and around 4:30 my contractions had shifted to 7 minutes apart. I called Anna, and she said she would come down to be with me after she had finished a few things in Ann Arbor. It was around 6:30/7 PM that she arrived. At this point Eric had come home, but we decided to leave Halley at his parent’s house. Anna checked me and I was at 4cm, but we both knew that didn’t really mean anything. I was 3cm with Halley for over a week – so it wasn’t a reliable indicator. She didn’t want to leave yet because the baby was so low, if there was a shift she felt labor would progress quickly.

So Anna got busy with some work, and I sat down and watched “Wildest Africa”. Why I picked this I have NOOOO idea. But the narrators voice was so soothing. I don’t’ really remember any of the actual content. Just his voice. I still find that comical today. My contractions felt stronger, but not strong enough. For several hours we hung out like this. Anna recommended I try lying down, but I couldn’t get comfortable. At one point I got up from lying down and could feel the baby move down. I told her such, and we decided to check again. I had only progressed about ½ a cm, but the baby had moved down even more. Halley was not willing to stay at my in-laws, so Eric went and got her.

At this point she felt I should try to sleep. That could either speed up contractions or stop them. Either way, she was staying the night. She lived 1.5 hours away, and didn’t want to get on the road, only to turn back. So I went to bed, and she chose the couch to lay on. This was around 10:30pm. By 11:00 my contractions had really picked up in intensity, and I had stopped timing them at this point as well. Intense back pain accompanied as well. I came out to the play room and woke Anna. We headed into the bedroom, as she wanted to see me have a contraction. I laid in bed, and she watched. But apparently I have some sort of performance anxiety and several minutes went on without a contraction. She decided to get up and grab something and the moment she left the room I had another. This happened several times, and then finally she was able to witness a contraction. She could see how much pain I was in and offered to rub my back and apply counter pressure. After a few contractions we decided I should call my doula, and she the other midwife (2 attend each birth) since they both lived 30-45 minutes away). I got up and went to the bathroom and she put plastic down on the bed.

(At this point Halley kept waking and crying, so Eric stayed in her room to help keep her calm and asleep. )

As soon as I laid down another contraction came, and this was stronger. Anna applied counter pressure and I felt a POP inside of me. Moments later water gushed from me, and we knew this was the real thing. I started having one contraction after another. Each one getting stronger. Unfortunately it would seem there was no time to set up and fill/cool the birth pool. Anna applied pressure and massage during contractions, and then ran around setting up needed supplies. At this point neither Martha or Amanda had arrived yet. I’m not sure how long it was before either of them got there. I don’t remember Martha coming into our room, all I remember is that the massage felt different. So I knew she had arrived. When Amanda arrived I recall her telling me she was there. And that’s pretty much all I remember. I was deep in my birth space, breathing slowly and purposefully through each contraction. Between contractions I think I slept…because I honestly don’t remember anything other than the contractions themselves.

Then I had a huge, long contraction. I recall asking Anna, “How much longer of this?” To which she replied, “We don’t know, but I don’t think it will be long now.”

The next contraction I felt the head move down and indicated as much. They could now see her head. The next contraction was one I will never forget. It consumed my entire body. My lungs felt squeezed so tightly that I couldn’t breath. At this point I had kept a nice breathing pattern down, and let my body go with the ebb and flow. But this contraction took me by surprise. I recall thinking to myself, “will this ever stop…will I ever breath again?” And when it let up I began gasping for air. Someone reassured me I was OK, and to breath deep again. At which point I found my calm again.

There were a few pushes for her head, and some light burning. But once her head birthed her entire body just slithered out effortlessly.

At 1:36am Cypress Zofia was born and promptly placed on my chest. Eric was able to be by my side for the birth, and we loved on her as we waited for the placenta to deliver. Since her cord was so short she stayed on my belly for about 15 minutes, at which time the placenta was delivered. Once it stopped pulsing they cut the cord and we started to establish breastfeeding. She cried and fussed at the breast for an hour, and Anna said in her experience babies that come quickly have a lot to say at first. But once she settled in she was quite content. Eric and I lay in bed together enjoying the sight of our new baby girl, while the midwives and Martha cleaned up, prepared an herbal bath and food for me. After about three hours, and making sure Cypress and I were healthy, they left and we all drifted off to sleep.

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Click HERE to learn more about the Community Birth Stories Project or to submit your own birth story.